February Edition

First and foremost…HAPPY 2014!!! 2013 was a very bountiful year for my household all the way around and I am looking forward to seeing the blessings 2014 has in store for us!  I am currently approaching my 1 year mark with my locs and words cannot express how excited I am for that!!! In the beginning as you all know, my locs and I had a love/hate relationship! LOL! But I’ve finally hit the point where we have an understanding!

 

 

So after posting my October entry, I’ve noticed that my days of having bangs, were slowly coming to an end. My hair is past my eyes when I do retwists! I’m able to see the length with each retwist but for the time being, can still enjoy bangs due to my shrinkage! (Shrinkage is a wonderful thing! LOL). I’ve also been able to go past 7 weeks before I absolutely need to retwist my hair. I’ve also learned that in drinking plenty of water, I am able to reduce the amount of dandruff in my scalp! #winning

   

In the pictures below, you can see my hair after about 6 weeks after retwisting. Experience has taught me that my hair is the best right before it is time to shampoo and retwist! Over the past few months, I’ve been able to try a ton of different styles to help express how I’m feeling for that day. It’s hard to put into words just how important that is to me!

    

Around November/December, I’ve seen the most growth. In my last post, I gave pictures of my successful bantu knot-out and was able to show you guys how defined my curls. 10 weeks later, I shampoo’d my hair and decided to do another bantu knot-out and the difference from the first successful attempt was amazing!!!

  

After posting this picture on facebook, I had quite a few people ask me about the products I put in my hair. I use Red Pimento Oil from Tropical Roots. It makes my scalp feel great…it tingles while it moisturizes. I also love Mango & Lime products, especially their Black Caster Oil. This IMO is a must if you’d like your hair to grow. I put about a nickle size in the palm of my hand, then rub my hands through my hair. If you use too much, it may make your hair oily and heavy. And finally, I made my own flax seed hair gel!!! My only issue with it is the fact that it’s pretty flaky in my hair, which makes my locs look dirty or “ashy” looking. I was told if I put olive oil in my gel, it would help…and it definitely helped a little. Hopefully I can master it b/c in creating my own hair gel, not only is that a huge money saver but I think it’s healthier for your hair. There are no chemicals in it, no color and no odor.

 

 

Finally, I retwisted my hair two days ago using my homeade flax seed gel after moisturizing my hair with Black Caster Oil and instead of using clips like I used to, I put my hair in bantu knots as soon as I retwisted a cluster of locs. I generally go through the process of detangling and retwisting, clipping, drying THEN styling my locs. The overall process took well over 4 hours! But in putting my locs in bantu knots as soon as I had a cluster of retwisted locs, it saved me so much time and back aches!!! My overall process took about 2 1/2 hours!!! So I’ve found how I’ll be doing my hair from now on! 🙂 Below are pictures I’ve taken, styles I’ve tried over the past few months. I can’t adequately express how excited I am to now be able to try so many different styles!

 

Until next time…

*~Dimpled Sunshine~*

   

Loc Journal Entry Late October Edition

Okay…first and foremost…I suck! LOL! My last loc entry was mid May edition…I’m terrible!  Crazy enough, I didn’t feel I really had enough info to even create a new entry…only to start Late October’s Loc Entry and have a CRAP load of pictures to load…b/c OF COURSE I continued to take pictures! LOL! My pictures are mostly on my retwist days and days I’ve felt cute! 😉

So since my last entry, I’ll try to post pictures corresponding with the time frame. Bare with me! LOL! In June (month 3), I had finally reached the phase where my length was enough to play with!!!

    

Before I loc’d, one of the things I loved most was the versatility of my natural hair. Anything I COULD do with it, I DID! I’ve always loved the ability to change things up. So one of the most difficult things about loc’ing at such a short length was the fact that I could do absolutely NOTHING with my hair! In June, only the last row of the back of my head had loc’d…and not fully! I was still able to enjoy the coils look though…and was ultimately very pleased! 🙂

In doing research about time frames in which hair starts to loc, I found the salty water from the ocean was encouraged when it comes to speeding up the process. So in July (month 4), when I saw the opportunity to go to the beach, I dove right in!!! Crazy enough, before going to the beach, I’d stayed up most of the night retwisting my hair b/c our beach trip was on the way to our family reunion…and I wanted my hair to look its best…completely throwing out the fact that I’d planned on getting my hair wet! SMH! Did I see any immediate changes? I thought I did. The salty water is supposed to dry out your hair thus assisting in the loc’ing process. I definitely saw a little more frizz vs coils my next retwist…but did it finally loc? No. I think the most memorable part of month 4 was the fact that I’d seen significant length! My hair moved when wind blew through it! LOL!

O

In August, (month 5) I’d hoped to be fully loc’d by then. This was obviously not the case. But I definitely saw more locs than just my last row in the back of my head! LOL! I’d probably say I was about 50%. I noticed my hair had started to loc in the middle of the coils…so my ends and my roots are still mostly coiled. But you could definitely tell that I was not just rocking coils, on occasions right before retwists, my hair looked more like locs.

By month 6, September (the month everyone says their hair finally locs!!!), I was about 80%! The pros to my grade of hair is, it’s very coily (for the most part). The cons to my hair is, it’s really soft which makes the loc’ing process EXTREMELY slow!!! My impatience comes in when I want to color my hair and I can’t b/c professional color slightly changes the texture of your hair. Color would loosen my curls tremendously…so I can’t afford to color my hair without regressing in the loc’ing process! (*pouts*) The greatest thing about this particular month was the fact that I was able to do even more styles with my hair without worrying about it unraveling!!! Below you can see I tried bantu knots…and I absolutely LOVED the results!!! My knot out lasted a full week and got better as the days progressed!!! I loved the knots so much, one of these days I may even wear it as a style…:D

 

Currently, in late October, I’ve gotten a couple of styles under my belt! My hair is now about 88% loc’d…(I still have two in the middle of my head that is a totally different grade from the rest and REFUSE to loc…I have to retwist them as coils during every retwist). I’ve noticed how much length I have before my retwists (that is when I experience my most noticeable shrinkage). Because of my new length, I’m able to go longer and longer between retwists…the only thing that gets me is my dandruff. (The struggle is REAL) I’ve seriously got to find a product that eliminates dandruff b/c it’s getting down right disrespectful! LOL! Below you can see the most recent pictures I’ve taken compared to the first pictures I’ve taken since starting my loc’ing journey! Overall, I’m very pleased! By January, I’ll definitely have a new funky color (I’m struggling between Rihanna red or a really cool, funky blue and black…either way…it’s going to be DANGEROUS) 😉 Stay tuned…

*~Dimpled Sunshine~*

 

A Letter to My First Born Son

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To My Handsome Prince, Davian: 

 

As I sit here thinking about how to properly wish you a happy birthday, I think about the beginning…I remember being nervous about meeting you. Would I make a good impression? Would you like me? Where would my relationship with your father go, if this moment goes terribly wrong? Was I ready to step up into a parental role should this relationship progress into a forever kind of love like I’ve dreamed? In walking into this fast food restaurant, I saw you sitting with your handsome father…you were so stinking adorable! I remember speaking to you and how shy you were. You played under the counter talking about your dinosaurs. I remember playing with you and tickling you…falling in love with your laugh. After lunch, I remember saying goodbye and asking for a hug…you would not give me one…you were too shy. You blushed and smiled as I pretended to be heartbroken over the rejection. Your dad called me a few minutes later to tell me that you hadn’t stopped talking about me! 

 

I remember being scared at the thought of being a mother. Could I do this without screwing up? You made it so easy. You have always been a happy kid, full of smiles and an infectious giggle that could warm anyone’s heart. We’ve been through so much. You’ve always had the kind of spirit where nothing keeps you down. You have always had the spirit of a warrior. You’ve always been a fighter. You’ve always worked hard. You’ve been through so much in so little time. In the custody battle to win full custody, the instability you’ve endured…the mental and verbal and physical abuse…you are my hero. I pray that you always remember what you’ve come from, what you’ve been through and how far you’ve come. It has been an honor to watch you grow into the handsome, well rounded young man.

I know in my parenting, I fuss a lot…about getting homework done, about making smart day to day decisions, about chores…but you make me smile. Your hugs and kisses still melt me. I know that you will be fine when the time comes for you to spread your wings and fly. I hope that you will be able to look fondly back on your childhood and know that I’ve given you everything. I’ve given you my time, my love, my money…because I believe in you. You are destined to conquer the world baby. 

I pray that you will learn to set yourself apart and keep people from taking advantage of your soft heart and kind nature. I pray that you will have the ability to listen to people’s actions instead of their words. I hope that God allows me the blessing of continuing to watch you grow, graduate high school, then college, find a beautiful, strong wife, have children of your own and step into your own. I hope that you realize even though I fuss, I love you endlessly…and I see your potential. I see how great you are…how amazing you will be when you finally realize your potential. 

I am proud to be your mother. I am proud to have the opportunity to mold such a great man. I love you my prince Davian…and I’ll love you until the end of my days!

Happy 12th birthday baby!

 

Love always, 

Mommy

 

 

Loc Journal Entry Mid May Edition

Alas! The time has come to talk hair! LOL! I’ve been meaning to update my transition forever so please forgive the tons of pics with this post! Over the past month and a half, my baby locs and I have had a love/hate relationship! When I first started this transition, I hated my length…I knew it would grow but I was just not feeling where I was at that time. My first retwists (in the pic stitch bloopers) turned out to be disastrous! I made the mistake of clumping the retwists in groups instead of how I’d like them to lay when the clips are out…I woke up the next morning with very little time before I had to leave out of the house only to take the clips out to see THAT MESS!!! Embarrassed is not the word to describe that morning! My husband got a good laugh out of it all though…sadly…it was so terrible…that was all I could do too! Thankfully I had a hat that matched the outfit for the day! BTW…I am SOOOOO NOT A HAT PERSON!!! LOL! That day, I contacted my aunt who is a natural hair care specialist to seek advice as to what I had done wrong. That was how I learned to retwist my baby locs in the way I’d like them to lay!

As the weeks progressed, I started to love the things my baby locs were starting to do. My hair had grown out a little more…I now have a short bang (LOVE!)…and I’m really starting to dig this length! Unfortunately, because my hair is a softer, curlier texture…my hair still has YET to loc. I know this process takes time though. The sucky thing about my hair texture during this process is my hair looks fuzzier way quicker so I have to constantly refresh to keep from looking a hot mess! (Those who really know me know there is nothing worst to me than to walk out of the house with a messed up head!) Another con to this locing process is the dandruff! I’m used to shampooing my hair once a week to keep the dandruff away. To clean my hair, I am currently using herbal Cleanse “Dry Shampoo” by Organic Root Stimulator…while it decreases my dandruff…my scalp STILL itches…and I still experience caked dandruff! A week ago, my dandruff was so bad, I researched a different way to clean my hair. I got in the shower with my satin cap and shampooed my hair through the cap. That definitely helped but I’m a little nervous about doing it as often as I’d like b/c I don’t want to mess up my forming locs. I’m hoping the water helps with the locing process like a few bloggers suggested.

 In these pictures, I used Mango Lime Locing Gel…but my sister just informed me that locing gels are too heavy for my coils/baby locs and I need to switch to using shea butter until my locs have fully formed. So I’ll be doing my two week retwists this weekend with that! (Thanks, Morgan, for the tip!) Hopefully I can decrease the number of fuzzy-headed days as I progress through my journey! I hope you enjoy the shared pictures from my month and a half long loc journey thus far! End of the month May Edition coming soon! LOL!

*~Dimpled Sunshine~*

Mother’s Day Reflect

  

 

As I sit back and reflect on the most recent Mother’s day celebrated, I find myself thinking about all of the mothers I’ve met in my life as well as the kind of mother I’ve become. I am a proud mommy of a budding 6th grader and an active 3 year old. My life consist of homework, test grades, daily routines such as grooming, clean teeth check, etc. I take those tasks on proudly because my children are a reflection of my husband and myself. God only knows how many times my son’s 5th grade teacher (and every other teacher my son has had in elementary school) has seen me at the school checking for missing assignments, grades, books…lol! I take the time to talk to both of my kids to ask about their day, I fuss when homework assignments are not turned in, and I give advice about friends that cross paths with my kids. These things come second nature to me. They are my badge of honor…my contribution to society…

I can honestly say that I enjoy motherhood…even in the down times…I wouldn’t trade it for the world. The mothers that I’ve gotten to know over the years fall in the same category as myself. Married or single, these mothers bust their ass for their children…scream their accomplishments from the mountain tops and nurture their children as needed. What I’ve also learned throughout the years is that just like dedicated mothers exist…so does the opposite. There are mothers that are more concerned with men, money or the image of motherhood than actually being a mother. Mothers that will go weeks and months on end not knowing a thing about their child but will post pictures on social networks for the sole purpose of the image of it all. And sadly, mothers like these aren’t such a rare thing to find anymore. 

So I wanted to take the time to shout out a few of the dedicated moms I know! KUDOS to that pole instructor who is an AMAZING mother of 2 and a stepmother of 4! GREAT JOB to that DFACS worker who just got promoted while being an awesome mother of 2. To that recently single mother of 4 that busted her ass to get her Psychology degree with 2 of her 4 being special needs…YOU ARE APPRECIATED! Happy Mother’s day to all of the deserving mothers who work hard for their children to have. The world needs more like you! Your job is a 24 hour a day gig! Lastly, a special happy Mother’s day to all of the fathers that have to be mommies too!

 

*~Dimpled Sunshine~*

Storm Clouds

After the kind of day I had, I deserve every last drop of my refrigerated moscato! My 3 year old started our morning commute with vomit then proceeded with her stomach virus the rest of the morning! Feeling quite unproductive today, being that I stayed home from work with my little one…I thought I’d seize the opportunity to re-twist my locs…only to run out of clips before I could finish! My day got to the point where all I could do was laugh! Laughing is way more therapeutic than stressing!

I think it’s important to find the positives in a crappy day/week/month…if you can’t…ALCOHOL HELPS!!! Lol! In my case, my silver lining is my handsome husband and the great mood he’s in, my happy kids, and my cold bottle of moscato in the fridge calling my name! *raises wine glass at 4:40P.M.* Here’s to an exciting weekend and an amazing week next week!

Until next time…

*Dimpled Sunshine*

Black Man

 

When you turn on the local news, you are instantly hit with negative views of the Black man. He is viewed as a menace, drug dealer, thug, lazy, unemployed, a dead beat father, uneducated, a drug user, and automatically assumed to be up to no good. When you turn on the radio, you hear Black rappers bragging about “popping Molly’s”, flashing guns, how many bitches they run through, etc. As of today, Black men are more likely to become incarcerated than they are to graduate high school. Is that so hard to believe? The only thing our young Black boys hear and see is negative connotations of themselves. They are flooded with images and music telling them what is cool. Tell you what DIDN’T make news…the Chicago’s Urban Prep Academy for Young Black Men are celebrating their third year of 100% college bound graduates! 

I’ve started to digress and reel off on one of my tangents! LOL! My purpose of this post this morning is to shout out and shine light on the Black men that are doing their damn thang! ESPECIALLY Black fathers. We hear constantly how hard it is to be a single, Black mother. Don’t get me wrong…it is extremely tough to be a dedicated, single, Black mother…but imagine the dedicated, single, Black fathers! Things have started to change within the court system now to allow more rights for the Black fathers. More Black fathers are gaining custody, getting child support, etc. 

When I met my husband, he was a single, Black father. While dating, I watched him prepare for school (daycare) every morning, work with his son on his homework every evening. I watched him feed, love and care for his then 3 year old with very little help from his son’s mother. A year into our dating process, my husband made the very difficult decision to fight for official custody of his son. It was a long, often discouraging battle…because the court system typically favors the mother regardless of the circumstances. Our circumstances were no different. There were many nights filled with tears and frustration. The end result was custody of his son. He currently lives with us, is happy and healthy…living a life full of promise. Special shout out to my better half! 

I’m shouting out all of the successful, Black men out there that are holding down jobs, their households, their children, their wives, their families. Shout out to those Black doctors, the Black lawyers and police officers out there on their LEGAL hustle! LOL! Shout out to the Black fathers who has stepped up and raised their children even in dealing with the most difficult, vindictive women. Our children (especially young men), society, wives, girlfriends and family thank you! You are necessary and very much appreciated! ❤

 

*~Dimpled Sunshine~*

Reflection

So I’m reading my morning horoscope (yes, I’m a believer…DON’T JUDGE ME! LOL) and it spoke about finding a better way to vent. By nature, I don’t really “talk it out” when I am offended or angered. I generally withdraw until I can deal with that person again. Apparently this is the nature of a cancer (hence the crab…retreating into it’s shell). Lately I’ve been battling internally with some issues from my past that is hard to heal from because the wound is opened on a fairly consistent basis. Talking it out, in my opinion never changes anything. It just rehashes my anger…and to go out of my nature to talk it out only for things not to change or for the issues to still occur as if the conversation has never happened is even more frustrating than the issue itself.

So my question is: Should you continue trying to talk it out if things won’t ever change? Not every circumstance is easy to detach from…family being the hardest relationship of them all. Can you heal if the wound is constantly ripped open? I’m certainly not looking forward to the journey of finding that answer.

*~Dimpled Sunshine~*

New Time, New Beginnings

Ladies and gentlemen…my meant to be also has a blog dedicated to the hard working, African American fellas out there (and women who want to know a positive male perspective on things). We’ll be collaborating occasionally on hot topics so be on the look out!

There Are Still Good Men Out There

Welcome to my world, My name is Farod Thomas! I’m a God Fearing Husband of my beautiful better half, a Father to two amazingly talented young children, and more than anything I’m like most of you here, A MAN! I created this blog for the purposes of educated my African-American men and probably some other nationalities too about the everyday things we as men deal with.  It’s my hopes that you all dig and divulge into this blog as much as I will be!  It’s also my hopes to educate us on matters that tend to go unspoken of and overlooked in our society.  While this site is for the sole purpose of uplifting my brothers, I invite ALL WOMEN, my sisters, to partake on spreading positive knowledge, insight and uplifting viewpoints.  Well nothing more to go on here! Let’s make it happen!

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Starting the loc’ing process!

My husband has been trying to get me to loc for the past 2 years! I’ve been natural since 2008. I’ve rocked every natural style imaginable! My favorite style was my fierce fro! So when my husband brought to me the idea of loc’ing, I knew I wouldn’t be able to have the option to wear my favorite styles.

What’s changed, you ask? Last year my mom had what we thought to be a minor procedure in having a cyst removed below her ear. Long story short, it turned out to be cancerous. During the course of radiation treatment, she started to lose hair. My husband and I decided to cut my hair to show her that beauty goes beyond hair. I actually found that I could rock the DEMON out of a fade! Lol! In growing my hair out, that’s when I figured I’d try something new!

I googled styles and came to the conclusion that I wanted loc extensions! I wanted the long luxurious locs immediately! But the way my bank account is set up…I got a checking and a savings and don’t have money in EITHER! Lol! I didn’t want to go through what I called “the boy” phase. That’s the short twisties phase that I didn’t care for. But alas…I don’t have much of an option. Time to practice what I preach in my pole dancing instruction and make this boy phase the sexiest anyone has ever seen! 😉 In this blog I’ll let you experience the good, bad and the ugly as I go through it all! Lol! Enjoy!

My Loc’ing Journey began March 29, 2013

*~Dimpled Sunshine~*